Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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