My hand turned me down
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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