my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
