Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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