A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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