We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
