Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
