girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.