Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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  (248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs
  Replies (12) Good night (1212) Bad night (652)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

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  (706): Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe". http://tfl.nu/cnav
  Replies (7) Good night (2511) Bad night (757)
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  (909): View more from California

  I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.

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  (909): I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea. http://tfl.nu/jmc9
  Replies (22) Good night (3374) Bad night (640)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.

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  (989): I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight. http://tfl.nu/b4pp
  Replies (32) Good night (6909) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i can't find my house

  (1-845): View more from New York

  we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

  (845): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure my house moved.

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  (845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng
  Replies (51) Good night (13761) Bad night (1469)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..

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  (781): i just added no after every hockey player in my phone.. http://tfl.nu/mdhx
  Replies (13) Good night (2286) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?

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  (919): Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill? http://tfl.nu/kp4x
  Replies (7) Good night (2118) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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  (229): Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes http://tfl.nu/ukqo
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (1033)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight

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  (253): We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight http://tfl.nu/nnba
  Replies (18) Good night (1774) Bad night (566)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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  (619): I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face. http://tfl.nu/43n4
  Replies (4) Good night (1211) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...

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  (801): He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"... http://tfl.nu/bw0v
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

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  (570): I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas." http://tfl.nu/unt9
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

  (406): View more from Montana

  YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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  (570): HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS. (406): YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE. http://tfl.nu/futb
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper

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  (318): she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper http://tfl.nu/ei3r
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley

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  (949): Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley http://tfl.nu/vphj
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (203)

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