Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.

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(204): Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding. http://tfl.nu/e8lb

Replies (19) Good night (1104) Bad night (5910)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

well most of my day revolves around power hour

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(856): well most of my day revolves around power hour http://tfl.nu/z7v2

Replies (6) Good night (3323) Bad night (601)
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(772): View more from Florida

The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.

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(772): The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again. http://tfl.nu/7v1u

Replies (28) Good night (713) Bad night (4927)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.

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(703): Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college. http://tfl.nu/9le9

Replies (14) Good night (6935) Bad night (905)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.

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(570): I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever. http://tfl.nu/cjv6

Replies (11) Good night (3246) Bad night (1128)
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(224): View more from Illinois

you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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(224): you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney http://tfl.nu/cyaf

Replies (3) Good night (3691) Bad night (978)
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(619): View more from California

It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.

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(619): It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car. http://tfl.nu/xdru

Replies (3) Good night (2909) Bad night (832)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)

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(610): We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus) http://tfl.nu/tr80

Replies (5) Good night (2515) Bad night (1853)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?

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(503): I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!? http://tfl.nu/h2a2

Replies (9) Good night (3355) Bad night (749)
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(850): View more from Florida

I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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(850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h

Replies (6) Good night (1400) Bad night (481)
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(661): View more from California

im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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(661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude

Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (715)
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(914): View more from New York

I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.

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(914): I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis. http://tfl.nu/jvao

Replies (28) Good night (4078) Bad night (751)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.

(970): View more from Colorado

They were both high priority

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(970): Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles. (970): They were both high priority http://tfl.nu/wgo8

Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (226)
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(607): View more from New York

Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.

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(607): Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on. http://tfl.nu/m1je

Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (225)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"

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(973): Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American" http://tfl.nu/vpvu

Replies (0) Good night (209) Bad night (427)

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