is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry