Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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