I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
