I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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