Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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