He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
