What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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