You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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