sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
