I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
