is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
