.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
