glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
