I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
