We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
