out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
