it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
