new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dicks are not precious.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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