Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
