i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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