last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
