You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
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