D3 body, D1 cock
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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