First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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