i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
