Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
