We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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