so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
