i don't like sucking hair
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
