need another drink. this is the easiest way
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
