It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
