no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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