im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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