well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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