if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
