Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
