I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
