i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
