new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
