but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
as a side note pls kill me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
