He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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