he shaved USA in his pubs
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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