I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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