woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
