She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
