and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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