I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
nutella sex= disaster
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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