Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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