he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
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i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I love you.
Bad choice
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