brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
