So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
