I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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