it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
