On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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